Commander Whatever

New roommate...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 02:50:00 -0600

I wasn’t even asked if I was ok with getting a new roommate. It just happened.

He doesn’t pay rent or utilities. It’s supposedly justified by the fact that he cleans and buys things for the apartment.

The apartment isn’t much cleaner than before, especially considering that when you rearranged the room you’re in, you took a bunch of shit out and just dumped it in the fucking living room.

The mismatch of candles and reed diffusers make things smell like a gift shop took a shit in the whole apartment, not to mention the reed diffuser smells awful on its own.

And the groceries you bought and led me to believe were mostly open game (as long as I didn’t eat the last of something)? Yeah, now you’re all passive-aggressive, hiding things when you think I’ve had too much of it and making little comments about how you have to go buy more when there’s still half of everything left.

So fuck both of you for putting me in this situation, cramping my lifestyle, cramping my personal retreat from the shit I feel like I’m dealing with, and just being dicks.

Hopefully you’ll break up or August will come around real quick. And expect a conversation about the financial situation. If you’re going to be sitting around the apartment watching TV and playing video games, you’re going to pay for the fucking electricity to do it. You graduated. Go do something with your degree (get a real job), find your own apartment, and quit mooching off of people who work twice as hard as you do, have half as much time to fuck around as you do, and make less money doing it. Time to grow up.

I'm tired of being there for other people

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:23:43 -0600

Go out of your way for me once in a while.

Get out of your overly-romanticized fantasies about love and “the one” and quit texting me drunk about how the world is horrible.

Fuck, man.

I forgot how much I like this layout

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:19:08 -0600

I just never write anymore

Rough Night’s Sleep

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 00:52:11 -0500

Rough Night’s Sleep

Photo of the Day 1200 Fannin St.

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:30:00 -0500

Photo of the Day

1200 Fannin St.

Photo of the Day 606 Pearl, Denton, TX.

Fri, 29 May 2009 15:38:00 -0500

Photo of the Day

606 Pearl, Denton, TX.

Really now...

Thu, 28 May 2009 14:02:43 -0500

Again with the personal crisis excuse? Come on now.

Once again, it’s not the problem, it’s the disappearance associated with it.

At least my photos of the day have gotten a little positive feedback.

Today’s photo of the day. 518 Pearl, Denton, TX.

Thu, 28 May 2009 12:10:58 -0500

Today’s photo of the day.

518 Pearl, Denton, TX.

Yesterday’s photo of the day. Also, first photo of the...

Thu, 28 May 2009 12:05:21 -0500

Yesterday’s photo of the day. Also, first photo of the day.

City Parc apartments in Denton, TX

Frustrated

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 02:04:00 -0500

Did you really forget to tell me your dog broke his leg because you were caught up making arrangements to go to the vet? Or did you just flat out forget we had a date and made a quick excuse I can never validate when I texted you that I was 30 minutes away? Oh, it’s no biggie, I enjoy sitting in rush-hour traffic on 635. I was going to be doing it anyway.

The world will never know.

I’d be alright with it, I understand life happens. But, I never hear from you unless it’s to apologize for something not working out.

You’re the one who started this. I’m interested in you, I always have been, but I’m not going to play games, especially when you live 5 hours away for another 3 months.

And I’d be happy to have this discussion with you, rather than the tumblr servers. Too bad I won’t hear from you and you won’t call me back if I tried.

Cafe Brazil in GQ

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 00:51:00 -0600

GQ has a peice this month about the best breakfasts in the country. Featured in their peice is the following recommendation about Cafe Brazil in Dallas (among other Texas cities).

The late-night chilaquiles at Cafe Brazil in Dallas, but only becaue its chicken-fried steak and eggs is, literally, a killer that will haunt your dreams. To wit: crispy, salty battered crust on the steak, bathed in black-pepper-laden cream gravy, with a heaping side of roasted potatoes touched with rosemary. Resist!

Let’s go tomorrow, I haven’t been to Cafe Brazil in a long time.

People are fucking stupid.

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:37:08 -0600

I go to Quiktrip. I get a fountain diet coke. As I’m walking away, these two wanna-be thugs who had been standing there say “Hey what’s in your cup?”. I turn around, and one of them points to my cup: “there somethin’ up in it”. I look down at it. Just then, the guy slaps it out of my hand and it comes crashing to the floor in a diet coke explosion.

The wanna-be thug runs to the bathroom.

The other one was filming the whole thing on his phone. Great youtube video, guys.

The most annoying part of it all? The attendant who was cleaning one aisle over was just like “I know you didn’t just do that..” and went and got the mop. No “get the fuck out of my store” or “get the fuck out of my store before I call the cops for loitering” or “get the fuck out of my store before I bitch slap you back to your momma’s house”.

I weep for the future.

Things James Doesn't Like

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 19:16:38 -0600

I don’t like the fact that it was 80 degrees yesterday, and today, it didn’t get above 42 degrees. Pick something, man.

New Years Resolution

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:21:14 -0600

I didn’t originally make a new years resolution.

Sure, I’d like to get fit, have perfect teeth, and have an A1c of 5%. But I always thought of resolutions as a cliche, sad attempt at fixing a bad habit.

But I’ve thought about it some more, and I came up with a new years resolution that, I think, is more about changing my life, which in turn, should help make habit adjustment easier.

As a psychology major who has actually taken some classes now, along with three years of psychotherapy, I understand the importance of processing emotions fully. Think about the sitcoms you see where the character ends up tracing their current problems back to their mother not loving them enough.

For a good year, I really thought that I had done a rather good job at processing my emotions fully; really experiencing them and coming to peace with them, whether they be happy, sad, or anything in-between.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize I have only been halfway allowing my emotions to exist. This is dangerous, as it makes me more irritable, more prone to sudden mood swings, especially depressed crashes after periods of mania, and generally more stressed.

When my relationship with Kat ended, I was a mess. I didn’t know what to think about myself, about my ability to love, or my ability to be loved. I was in a world of sadness, anger, and jealousy.

So what did I do? Allowed myself to become involved with another woman, only to be very suddenly dumped. After this happened, I felt almost as sad and angry as I did when Kat and I broke up. But this seemed absurd to me. I shouldn’t feel this level of emotion after breaking up with a woman I had only been dating for two months. And as a result, I shrugged off my feelings, pretending that I was “really ok with it, guys, it’s whatevz. Maybe we’ll see each other again, probably not, but it’s cool, I promise”.

This wasn’t the truth. I was deeply shooken up, and found myself engaging in all sorts of self-destructive habbits, the worst to me being borderline-obsessive facebook checking (God bless the internet age).

I recently had a conversation with a friend and told him that for him to help himself out of a crappy emotional situation, he needed to quit trying to rationalize his emotions and just let them take over so that he can accept them for what they are and allow them to pass. On the way home that night, I realized that I hadn’t been doing what I told him to do. I went home that night, and got sad, got angry, punched my pillow, screamed into my pillow. I even wrote angst-ridden words and burned them in a quasi-ritual. But I’ve felt so much better since then.

When I realized that the anger I felt at Kathleen was actually unprocessed anger at Kat, and when I allowed the anger to really run it’s course, I felt at peace. As a result, I’ve felt less stressed overall, and some of the physiological issues I’ve been having have really seemed to take a turn for the better this past week.

So my new resolution is quit hiding my emotions behind self-destructive, distracting behaviors and allow them to run their course. Emotions aren’t always rational and they can’t always be explained. They simply are what they are, and there isn’t a single, SINGLE thing anyone can do to stop them. All we can do is give them their space, accept that they’re there, and let them move on.

The past 3 months might have been a lot different if I had done this in the first place, but the past is the past, and now I’m moving forward with excitement.

Disc Golf

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:01:36 -0600

Played 27 holes today.

I didn’t do too hot, but it was my first time.

It really is addicting. And a good workout. Walked a good 3 or 4 miles.

I would like to continue playing.

Things James Loves

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 10:08:40 -0600

James loves chocolate milkshakes from McDonalds.

They have less nutritional value than the keyboard I’m typing on.

They barely cost more than a diet coke.

I don’t regularly get them, so they work well as a reward, such as yesterday when I got everything I needed to get done finished.

Thank you, Lara, for suggesting them last night.

Accepted

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:36:00 -0600

I watched a movie last night called Accepted. I had seen little bits of it before, but I watched it all the way through last night.

I liked the sorta-kinda message hidden beneath the teen movie.

Justin Long makes up a fake school to hide the fact that he didn’t get accepted to any schools he applied to. Fake website included.

Things escalate, and he ends up leasing an old mental hospital and renovating it into a fake campus. He’s surprised, though, when 300 students show up, having applied on the fake website that was a little too real.

Throughout the movie, we see these students learning whatever they’re interested in from all the other students. It’s a completely open environment of learning about the world around you.

It’s really cool.

The upetty school next door challenges this school because the mental hospital/campus is interefering with a proposed mall and university gate for the upetty. So they get the school shut down, yadda yadda. Eventually, they end up in front of a panel at the state board of university accredation. There is a big speech about how they are still learning, why they shouldn’t have to follow the standards of other universities just to prove that there is education happening at theirs, and how the modern university system stifles creativity and passion.

It’s super cool. I really agree with it. This might have something to do with the fact that this is very similar to the homeschooling experience I had.

Anyway, good movie. Funny, too.

Things James Loves

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 23:30:51 -0600

Chicken “Mi Casita” nachos.

“Served with beans, meat, cheese, guacamole, sour cream, pico and jalapenos”.

I get mine without the jalapenos.

They are absolutely delicious and there is enough for TWO feel good meals.

If you are in Denton, I highly recommend them.

Time management

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:56:41 -0600

I feel annoyed when people I know talk about how they love this TV show/movie/website/porn franchise, but then when you ask them to come to something socialable, they don’t have time because they have SOOO MUCH STUDYING TO DO.

oops

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 23:52:29 -0600

I opened tumblr to write something. It was really good. It was profound, funny, and made a good mixed drink. An all-around good ~~guy~~ post.

But now I don’t remember what I was going to say. Old age is getting to me.